What Love is NOT
Overcoming resistance in our lives is powerfully assisted through becoming a more loving person. Love is a word we have all used at some point in our lives. But do we actually understand what the word truly means? It seems even the dictionary does not shed any light on the word and gives false misinterpretations. I have even seen dictionary definitions stating that love is classed as a form of sexual attraction and deep desire for someone. Sexual attraction to someone is not love, it is a form of lust. Lust is a temporary emotion that is here today and potentially gone tomorrow. Love is an emotion that can last for eternity. Lust is momentary and is driven by a sense of desire and self gratification. Love is not about self gratification, to equate love with lust and self gratification is false.
Love is also often equated with being loved or receiving love, it is seen as ‘some emotion’ that we all have a human right to receive from others. If people don’t feel loved, they often become resentful and angry towards life, people and their surroundings creating more of the same. The people often seemingly distressed because they have not received enough love, do not even understand love or it’s meaning. If you are unable to be loving to other people then why should you expect anyone else to love you? This appears to be a simple question that many people do not wish to confront. If you are unable to be loving to others then why should you feel you have the right to be loved by others.
True Love is not about control or taking from others
Love is not a form of controlling others and taking away their free will. It is not a form of receiving something and giving nothing back. If you claim to love someone but actually want to control them or impose upon their free will you are showing them hateful energy not loving energy. When you love someone, you allow them to live freely and to think for themselves. To attempt to stop someone from thinking for themselves or to manipulate them is an act of violence. If you claim to love someone but only worry about the things they provide you with whilst giving nothing in return, you are showing them contempt.
Love is also not a human right to be received from external circumstances. It is an emotion we hold within ourselves.
Love is about giving without conditions being placed upon it
This may sound like madness to some, but its a basic fact of how reality actually operates. We give out to the world what we get in return. It is a basic aspect of cause and effect that people must learn to understand. It is sometimes called Karma and it does exist. If we approach love from the standpoint that we will only give it if we receive it first, we are approaching Love from the wrong standpoint. We cannot receive an emotion by giving out the opposite of that emotion. If you only allow yourself to give love once you have received it. You are coming from a withholding and fearful position.
Like attracts Like
We do not receive love by giving out hate to the world. We receive love from giving love and we receive hate from giving hate. Every emotion will generally bring in its vibratory match. It’s a bit like being in a dark room and expecting light to enter the room without switching on the light switch or opening the curtains, hateful people are generally people who sit in a dark room refusing to draw the curtains or flick the light switch and then bemoan the lack of light in the room. Becoming more loving and giving is required if we wish to receive more love into our own lives. There is no use in complaining about not being loved when you are incapable of giving love.
If you are unable to give to the world, then why should you receive from the world? What gives anyone the right to have something for nothing? If you refuse to give and only wish to take than you are the opposite of a loving person. It is a sign complete narcissism and self obsession to only want to take and not give anything. As I am about to explain, self love is a very healthy thing but self obsession is not. Self obsession is a withholding fearful energy whilst self love is a very giving positive energy.
You must learn to accept yourself as your first step
If you approach love from a hateful or fearful position, you must ask yourself if you truly have any love for yourself, people who are unable to be loving and giving to others generally have little to no love for their own selves. Your state of approach to other humans is the same as your approach to yourself. If you feel hatred and bitterness towards yourself, this will result in you showing hatefulness and bitterness towards the people around you. It follows that you will attract in to your life the seeds that you sow.
Your hatred and bitterness towards yourself will result in a sense of lack within yourself. The inability to feel any love for yourself will lead to a great void being formed. This sense of lack you feel will lead you to being needy, lonely and desperate for emotions such as love because you can’t generate the emotion within yourself. This may also lead you to seeking love in the wrong places or settling for second best. You may even feel you don’t deserve love or that you deserve to suffer.
“As above, so below, as within, so without,” – Hermes Trismegistus
‘You must love yourself’ has become highly cliche in modern psychology but it is highly relevant. We must learn to accept ourselves if we wish to experience love. If we are constantly belittling ourselves and think we have little to no worth then how do we expect others to see us in a loving manner. People will see us in the light that we see ourselves. If you do truly learn to love yourself then you will not feel dependent on other people to love you in the first place. If you learn to love yourself, it will become like a tap you can turn on for yourself without needing anyone else to provide it for you. Feeling a high level of self love will then increase your chances of creating a better life for yourself and attracting a more loving and dependable partner.
If you are hateful towards yourself, the chances are high that you will have a tendency to attract that vibration in to your own life. Which clearly explains why many very nice people are stuck in dire relationships with abusive and nasty people. Their own feelings of discontent towards themselves will act as a repellent for love and will draw in the opposite in the form of a hateful and abusive partner. They may actually be loving and decent people at heart but their own vibrations and feelings of self hatred will draw in a genuinely hateful and destructive partner.
How do you love yourself? You accept yourself!
Loving yourself is accepting yourself without condition in the same way loving someone else is accepting them without conditions, love is unconditional and not conditional. Self love comes from an unconditional acceptance of the Self. We all have faults and and issues which sometimes make us feel as if we may be unworthy. This is far from the truth though, we are all human. As humans we all have many positives and many faults. This is a simple fact of being a human, none of us are perfect.
We must learn to accept ourselves without conditions being placed upon ourselves. If we learn to accept ourselves without condition we can then learn to love ourselves. When we can learn to accept our own faults, then we can also learn to accept the faults of others. If we can love ourselves then we can begin to give love freely and easily without fear of rejection.
Love is by definition a feeling of deep affection. But it is also a form of unconditional acceptance for yourself and other people. Never forget it! In a future post I will be describing the power of becoming more loving and explaining how having faith ties in with this.
A great chapter on ‘Love’ by Florence Scovel Shinn in ‘The Game of Life and How to Play it’.